Salarymen Adventures: Blowfish

I’m worried this may be my last blog entry (not really) because I’m never going to top this story.

I meet my two salarymen friends, "K" and "Downstairs" at our station and take the train one stop to Ikebukuro. Once we arrived, we walked to the fugu (blowfish) restaurant. Outside the restaurant, there was a huge tank, filled with about 30 yellow blowfish. We were quickly led to a private room, where "K"ordered a set meal for each of us.

The first dish came, and it was blowfish with onions, in a tiny bowl. For those who don’t know, blowfish has a poisonous sac that will kill you if it’s spilled. I heard that every chef has to taste a little of the meat before he serves it to make sure the customers don’t die. There was even a Simpsons episode devoted entirely to Homer thinking he’s going to die because he ate bad blowfish.

Anyway, I try it and it was pretty good—very similar to other types of fish. "K"also ordered lots of Shochu, Japanese liquor that you drink with soda. The next dish was a raw sashimi dish—there were lots of pieces and it had a nice dipping sauce. The color was almost clear, and it was pretty chewy.

At this point both of them gave me gifts—I had forgotten that it was technically my farewell party (soubetsukai). "K"gave me some tea, and Downstairs got me a very nice post card. I was really surprised and a little embarrassed. They were both very kind and it was very unexpected.

Next came the main event: the waitress slid open our door, kneeled by our table and placed the large platter of sliced blowfish—it took me half a second to notice, but it was still moving! I took a video of it, and will be happy to show everyone when I get home (I also might put it up on youtube). It was really quite amazing—there were two parts still contracting for about a minute before it finally “died”. Keep in mind it didn’t look like a fish at this point, it was completely cut up into several pieces, and it was the PIECES that were still moving.

The next part is a little GROSS so feel free to skip it.

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We ordered some tempura, and since this was a blowfish restaurant, I figured it was blowfish. It was a large ball, and it kind of reminded me of a cream puff. It was deep friend and when I ate it, white goo feel out. It was very good. I asked what it was, and "K"said “I’ll explain after you finish,” which is probably the worst thing you can hear after taking a large bit of something.

They decided to make it a guessing game. I first asked if it was “nou” (brains) but they said it wasn’t. Then I guessed it was the heart that was all blended up—again wrong. Finally they started giving me hints. It was pretty difficult and I didn’t know a lot of the words, so I was looking them up as they were saying them.

They kept using the phrase “Life Essence” which didn’t make a whole lot of sense in English or Japanese. I finally told them I had no idea, and they told me to ask the waitress. As I turned to ask her, they both kind of looked away and were chuckling because obviously it was something you don’t talk about. I know what you’re thinking it is—you’re wrong, it’s not. I was thinking “rocky mountain oysters” but that was wrong too. The guy told me the word, Shirako, and I nervously looked it up—only one definition “fish semen”. They then explained how they got it—they cut open the male reproductive organs, boil the contents until it solidified and then battered and deep-fried it. I was more perplexed than anything—why would someone want to eat it? Who’s idea was that? Japanese people are SO weird, but I love them.

@@@@@ Grossness over, but I’m sure everyone just read it anyway.

The last part of the meal was the fishtail sake—sake with a fishtail in it. Very good, and very strong stuff. We had a great time, I even showed them my Japanese presentations that I had done over the years. They were very interested and liked everything I talked about.

So after this delicious and expensive meal, were all kind of stumbling around pretty drunk, and "Downstairs" says that he sometimes gets ramen when he’s drunk so we went into a ramen shop and each got a bowl. This is EXACTLY equivalent of going to McDonald’s after have an expensive steak dinner.

We caught a train home at midnight, and I was ready for bed—But somehow we ended up at another bar, and we stay there drinking even longer—until about 2:30 am. We walked back home and I fell asleep without even showering. I woke up in the morning, a few hours later, and took a shower and brushed my teeth. I had a pounding headache and it was only Wednesday. I arrived at work completely out of it, and promptly fell asleep. Jonathan, my friend at work, woke me up and said “Brian, you have toothpaste all over your face and you’re sleeping with your glasses on.” Yeah, I was out of it. But once again, my greatest adventures in Japan are with the crazy salarymen friends.